Have you ever been so angry at another person you wanted to throw your water bottle (or whatever happens to be in reach) towards them?
Some may call that rage, but if you understand what I’m saying, we’re now friends. We get each other.
When you recognize the fire within that is so explosive sometimes it ignites surprising even oneself, I’d say you’re a beautiful being on a crazy soul journey. Is the feeling shocking? Yes. Alarming? Maybe. Immediate relief comes from taking the desired action - just talking about throwing something makes my inner darkness smile with glee - but energy boosts come when you move through the ego and transcend into the work of the inner goddess.
As an inner anger expert (through personal experience only!), I’ve come to know three truths:
- Anger is a forefront emotion when I’m in a funk
- It’s temporarily more delightful to be mad at another person than take responsibility for my own thoughts and energy
- Relief by action (insert your favored here - throwing something, slamming doors, yelling) only clears the immediate layer - As soul beings our truer, deeper desire is full release and rewriting of our beliefs and patterns.
Here’s the only question you need to ask when sitting in anger:
“Why am I angry at myself?”
For every story has a reflection and it’s when we can look within we will find the truths of ourselves we’d rather not see that make us so angry.
A recent bout of anger brought me to this conclusion:
I am mad at myself because I still care so deeply about the judgement of others.
The precipitating factor that caused me to want to throw something (or maybe I did) had nothing at all to do with judgement. In fact it was somewhat trivial. It was the inner digging after the immediate relief which brought me here, fully retrieving energy at the soul level that seeps into my daily life.
So my mantra became - I am confident in my essence as a loving, truth telling, soul-searching human being and I no longer succumb to the judgements of others.
Over and over again. Until it is who I am.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
Over to you ~ When you ask yourself, “Why am I angry at myself?”, does the answer come right away or do you have to sift through layers to get to the core? What’s the mantra you wish to hold this week?
Loving you fiercely ~ s.
(Now if someone could open one of these in my neighborhood, I’d still be so appreciative! https://mastermindescapegames.com/the-break-room/)