RECLAMATION OF THE FEMININE PHYSICAL BODY

RECLAMATION OF THE FEMININE PHYSICAL BODY

I’ve always heard there’s an opportunity in yoga to take it to the mat and tears may emerge. What those people mean is, when your emotions feel heavy, when you can’t find the answers, get yourself to a class, stat.

I used to question the thought of someone crying in yoga. Like, how does that even happen?

Until it happened to me.

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LIVING THROUGH AN IDENTITY CRISIS

LIVING THROUGH AN IDENTITY CRISIS

2016 - it’s been a year of cycling through all these identifying questions. 

Ones like, Who Am I? 

What is my purpose in life? 

Who am I serving? 

Do I even want to work to serve? 

What if I just quit it all and wrapped up in a blanket and never showed anyone the real me?

Could I live happily just me and my family, no outsiders let in? 

 

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IF YOU WANT TO TRULY KNOW A WOMAN, ASK HER THIS

IF YOU WANT TO TRULY KNOW A WOMAN, ASK HER THIS

If you want to know a women, don’t ask her the number of children she has; Rather ask her the number of children she’s carried in her womb. 

For there’s probably not a day that goes by she not thinking of her spirit child. 

Here’s your opportunity for opening the door so she may share with you her love for a child, that often goes unrecognized.  

 

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The Friday Night Family Sleepover

The Friday Night Family Sleepover

It was a Saturday night and I couldn’t sleep.

The wind was howling at 40mph and the rain pounded as if it were giant hail. I wanted to snuggle with my little guy, sense his chest rising and falling, offer comfort from the storm that wasn’t impacting his sleep at all. My husband heard me leaving and asked why. I told him B didn’t like storms and I wanted to check on him. It was an excuse, for me, to be in his sleeping, quiet, innocent essence as a four-year old.

I thought, it’s been a long time since I’ve climbed into his bed to snuggle him for my own need.

And then I realized why this urge was so strong - to cuddle, to witness, to snuggle, to wake with him.

I had missed our past two family sleep overs due to the flu.

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Answering the Question, "Why Won't You Go to Sleep?"

Answering the Question, "Why Won't You Go to Sleep?"

If there’s one question I’ve heard time and time again from the parents I work with it it’s this - Why Won’t My Child Go the **** to Sleep? The f-bomb is often dropped because by the time parents reach me, they’ve already passed through the stages of trying to remain all zen and peace-like. I’m about to share with you one of the secrets I share with these families that makes a shift and brings a sense of calm back to bedtime.

When you have a child who simply won't go to sleep, no matter how much money you’ve spent on room darkening shades and white noise machines, this question haunts you well into the morning hours.

These questioning thoughts turn into, “What is wrong with my child”, and then to, “What is wrong with me?” Sometimes, when feeling really vulnerable, parents admit they question if being a parent is what they really wanted.

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Behind the Scenes of Being Seen

Behind the Scenes of Being Seen

Underneath all the layers, there is a seed within you that is coded with your purpose and your truth. Identifying and nurturing this seed will allow the bounty to ripen and grow. Yet in this growth process, there are times the darkness is comforting even though we need the light to flourish.

What does it mean, “To be seen?” Could it be less about visualization in the public eye and more about aligning with your truth and highest purpose? It’s common to think of TV hosts, musicians, comedians, movie stars as those being viewed by others and still I know a slew of people who aren’t famous in that light - sharing their soul with this world and making a difference in people’s lives.

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Taking Children through Life's Transitions

Taking Children through Life's Transitions

Life happens. Change is inevitable. Sometimes this change may be by choice, other times it’s not. Either way, there is often a toll, recognized or maybe unidentified, that happens within our children. When life transitions to a new stage, children maybe do not have the vocabulary to express their emotions. The effect is shown through their actions. This outward expression of unexpressed emotion may look like negative actions, neediness, or high energy. Most often this action based communication, which we can feel is negative and maybe even a drag, is in essence the best way your child knows how to ask for help.

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The Power of the Figure 8 - An Energy Practice for Clearing and Connection

The Power of the Figure 8 - An Energy Practice for Clearing and Connection

This one figure, drawing, spec… is represented in so many fashions in our life.

You’ll find them everywhere from sports to ropes to mathematics to science and more. In my life, I use it as an energy tool to both clear and connect. It’s truly one of the strongest techniques I know and use daily. Let’s explore this symbol a little deeper so you can begin to form a relationship to it and use it to strength relationship within your family and beyond.

The figure 8 is often referred to as the sign of infinity; with no end and no beginning it becomes limitless. I see it as two separate circles connected with the ability to trace back and forth with ease. This represents to me the relationship between partners and that of parents with their children. Relationships in balance flow gracefully and when disproportioned may become stuck somewhere along the path or uneven in nature to the two sides of the symbol.

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Meeting Your Child’s Demands While Honoring Your Needs

You see, bedtime had been a struggle for us for many years. My son insisted we tend to him through all hours of the night, leaving both myself and my husband beyond sleep deprived and on the border of depression. We tried for so long to be “attached” parents, until we learned how to honor our needs while still meeting our son’s demands.

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What My 3-Year-Old Taught Me About Generational Healing, Posted on Huffington Post Parents

What My 3-Year-Old Taught Me About Generational Healing, Posted on Huffington Post Parents

{Originally posted on Huffington Post} As I spoke these words to my husband, "I can't do this today. You deal with him," I cringed. Please no, I don't want that to be my truth. I give so much of my soul to my children and like all parents, my wish is that I can guide them to be their best selves.

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Dear Mom Living in Extreme Exhaustion

Mama exhaustion, let me just say YOU are awesome. I know you’re doing everything you can in your own will and power to do what’s best for your family. You are perfectly imperfect those long nights you sit with some real and deep emotions, and imperfectly perfect each day, just the way you are. I know you are wondering what you did to deserve this. Seeing your friends struggle less than you, wondering, why you? You may think you are being punished for all the poor choices you made in this world. The truth is you are being guided to see yourself in a new light. To be a newer version of you.

Sleep is more than this thing we do at night. Those who rest easily each night call it restorative. Those who have kids who have slept well from the start say it is relaxing. I call bullshit. Relaxing? No, those of us who have been sleep deprived with a child who doesn’t sleep define it as something very different.

We define sleep as pain. The very thing that causes us to struggle with acceptance of where we are in life. The very state that causes us fear and sadness. The one thing that makes us feel like we are failing at parenting. Sleep (or lack of) brings us face to face with our own anger.

But sleep isn’t just a state of being or a noun… Sleep is a lesson, a practice, an art. When you step back, examine your own internal beliefs about sleep and your own self-defeating comments you voice when your child won’t sleep, you are unknowingly gifted with a list of core beliefs that may no longer be serving you. These statements such as,

I’m not good enough… Something must be wrong with me… I am the worst mother, I don’t even like my child when I can’t get him to sleep… No one understands me or what this is like… 

The very thoughts that keep you awake at night. You have come face to face with your own anxieties. And it is hellishly scary and lonely and depressing. What if I told you learning to reframe these anxieties will lead to more sleep in your house? Instead of trying to fix sleep, maybe is it in your highest and best to repair your relationship with self? Listen to your negative self-talk; mother it. When did you first learn this about yourself? Breathe into those thoughts as you allow them to become lighter, softer, moving through you. Invite in new energy, positive thoughts such as,

I am perfectly imperfect and perfect all at once…. I am safe in this world…. I am learning to love myself and my family more everyday…. I am open to understanding me, my thoughts, my beliefs…. I choose to love and accept all part of me and all parts of my child…. 

Emotional Healing and self-care, that is a state that is restorative for mind and body.

The connection between you and your child is linked via energetic fields. When you retrain yourself to feel calm and connected at bedtime, your child is learning to feel calm and connected at the same time. As you release the fears of your little one not falling asleep or waking at any moment, you notice your child sleeping more and waking less. When you catch yourself labeling your child as a “bad sleeper”, you’ll begin to see how our self-talk and labeling shapes our world.

You’ve been thinking this is all about sleep. (I know because I did too!) It’s really about you. And parenting. And growing. In a very odd, demented way, you are lucky. When you learn to conquer stress during extreme exhaustion, the skills you learn will enable you to be a calm parent as your child grows. You are completing quite possibly the ultimate emotional marathon. And as you make progress on this journey, sleep will fall into place.

Dear mama who’s exhausted, you’re being asked to learn self-care. It’s not optional, it’s essential to surviving sleep deprivation (because you will survive.) You’re being called from your higher power to have a deeper connection with self, more compassion for self, and releasing the old programming which no longer serves you. There are many paths to self-care, from yoga to EFT Tapping (my fave!), therapy and more but nothing is as powerful as acceptance: “Even though there are parts of me I do not love, I am worthy of accepting all parts of me with love and grace. I am worthy. And I am loved.”

I see you, dear one. We are connected through experience. Through extreme exhaustion, I have felt your pain. I know it gets better. You are strong. The days will be brighter. You are an imperfectly perfect mother, just as you are. I believe in you. And I love you for the work you are doing in this world. You are a blessing to many.

Love,

A mama who’s been there and survived

 

5 Ways to Ease a Child's Nighttime Fears, Posted on Elephant Journal

In our most humanistic basic state, at any given moment we are either living in a fear and survival mode or a loving and thriving state.

Since it’s rarely 50/50, whichever feeling takes precedence ends up easily controlling our thoughts and emotions.

For children, bedtime routines and consistency equate to comfort. It is one way to ensure they feel safe in their bodies and in their space.

Feeling safe when going to sleep is a key component to REM sleep, which is the first and last stages of completing a full sleep cycle. If REM sleep is disturbed in some way, the body will continue to try and make-up that loss, thus skipping the deep sleep stages or waking early.

It’s no wonder a child who isn’t sleeping well may be moody!

I’ve never met a parent who isn’t trying to make sure their child feels safe, yet it’s hard to understand what constitutes fear in the mind of a child. It ranges from something they see to something they hear. Children tend to have astute senses and pick-up more than we do during the course of a day.

When the sky becomes dark and the lights go out, children become more in-tune with their own fears and this can rattle their sense of safety. As parents it is our responsibility to respond with empathy and compassion, rather then propelling or dismissing their thoughts.

The best fear-buster for your child can have is you.

Here are five tips to help you help your little ones release fear...

See the rest on Elephant Journal here

5 Ways to Make Sure your Child Feels Loved at Bedtime, Posted on Elephant Journal

After three and a half years, I’ve finally got bedtime routine with my children down.

Bath (Sometimes. When really dirty or we have lot of free time), PJs, story, some lovie-dovie stuff, kiss and then the walk out the door with fingers crossed I don’t hear, “mommmyyyy, I’m thirsty!”

Check, check and check.

I’ve got this sleep thing down!

And yet, I know there’s more to my child sleeping well all night then getting him there in the first place. My belief is a child needs to have routine to fall asleep and then needs to feel loved and feel safe in order to sleep sweet.

In no particular order, here are my five tips to ensure your child feels loved when going to bed.

Tell them you love them.

Simple? Yes.

Are you?

As I lay with my littlest loves, I go down the list of everyone who loves them. From us to siblings to grandparents and teachers and friends and aunts. Okay, it’s simple and it only takes a minute or two. It’s super sweet when I forget a name and I get reminded of who else loves my little. We always finish by saying, “You are just so lovable!”

This little practice not only ensures my child knows he is loved when drifting to sleep; it sets his subconscious belief pattern to accept he is lovable.

How would you feel to know each and every day how loved you are by others?

See—I mean, really see—them!

Remember looking into your child’s eyes when they were first born? That instant and deep connection? Can you remember who blinked first or looked away?

In our fast-paced technology driven world, we’ve made it possible to connect without really seeing the other person. Holding a gaze with another person can easily make time tick-tock a little slower. Yet, eye contact can make a person feel important. Connected. Two entitles as one.

So snuggle up, ask for a seal kiss and look into your little’s eyes. I wonder who will look away first.

See more on Elephant Journal here!

The Simple Way to Make Time to Meditate (Now)

meditate

I often get asked, how do you make time to meditate with kids, work, and life? I have found the answer to meditation. Simple? Yes. Easy? No.

The key? When you think it, do it.

It’s easy with a to-do list 30 days long to put it off until the “right” time. I’m thinking of meditating but want to eat (first). Or pay the bill first. Or any other thing that is a constant in life. And yet, when we push meditation aside, it becomes another thing “to do”. Another item on the list to keep us from being in the moment. And it’s that list that keeps us from being free. Next you know, this thing that’s supposedly the answer to feeling better is another “should” that brings on guilt and anxiety.

Today I thought of it and thought of it and thought of it. The time wasted thinking about meditating could have been used to sit in silence. And so when it finally was time for it, I was anxious/excited to pick up my littles who are at their first day at the new sitters and yet, I know, if I don’t do it now, tonight will come and I’ll be “too tired”. Or… if I do it now, tonight will come and I’ll have the chance to sit some more. Because I know it feeds my soul. And it can feed your soul, too. So I sat, without a timer this time and 9 minutes flew by. (That darn clock, I sometimes peek!) And then another 5 minutes. And now I’m in such a great, grounded place! I am grateful I’m picking up my kids with the this owed sense of gratitude to self, instead of 20 minutes sooner and in a state of guilt and worry about not fitting it all in.

When you think it, how do you react?

Namaste.

Stephanie

Meditating When I Can't Seem to Meditate

meditation

If there’s one parenting truth I know without a doubt, but, or hesitation it’s this…. When I take time to fill my zen cup through meditation everything shifts. And yet, finding that time with kids home and busy demands of life can be daunting. Sometimes I’d rather do anything else. Meaning, I’d rather catch some zzz’s, of course. And still, I want the benefits. Meditation raises my energetic vibration. Even a “bad” meditation where I feel like I’m chasing thoughts until I’m tired produces a welcome shift. And when I parent from a place of a higher vibration, my children reap the rewards. They sleep. Period. Shouldn’t that be enough right there to take time every day to meditate?

I’ve flirted with a meditation practice for a few years, but really in the past 6 months I’ve meditated more than I have in my past 30 some years. And I still have days where it seems like I’m going nowhere. Take today, my thoughts were flowing all over the place and I peeked at my timer to see 10:23 left on the clock! Not even half way though. Holy bee geez zoo. What I am going to do? And I kept on. And in those last two minutes I found my peace. As I quieted my mind and I listened within, I heard the words, “You are strong”. And that was exactly what I needed to hear. So when my timer went off two minutes later, you’d have thought I was revealing in that knowledge and that thought. And no, my first thought was “thank goodness it’s over!” Some days that’s how it goes. But as I listen to the quiet house with the kids peacefully asleep, I know it’s not just what I needed, but what is benefiting to them as well.

Talk to me. When you can’t find the inner quietness during your meditation time, what is your inner dialogue saying? Do you continue on and how do you get the motivation to sit again the next day? Get the conversation going here.

How To Rewire Your Brain for Greater Happiness

If there’s one thing I do for ALL my matrix reimprinting clients, it’s the reimprinting part! And that’s where we take a picture that we created to be the best possible picture possible (after cleaning away the negative, of course!) and we bring that picture into the crown and allow it to spend time processing through all the neural pathways. And we ask that the synapses reconnect with this new information. And we send it out to all the cells in the body. Because like this article says, “The brain is old-school. It’s like a cassette recorder. You record the song by playing it.” That’s as if to say, every time you replay a memory, you are recording it like it just happened. And so, when we de-press our memories and the associated emotions, it remains in-tact with the latest version. I can show you have to rewrite your memories so you may rewire your brain for greater happiness.

This article is a great jumping point. If you’d like to learn more about the work I do, sign up now and never miss your happy healing moment.

http://www.fastcompany.com/3034801/the-future-of-work/how-to-rewire-your-brain-for-greater-happiness

Learn to Use Emotional Freedom Technique with Your Family, Posted on Authentic Parenting

Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is a crazy silly tapping technique which guides deeper and emotionally healing communication between parents and their children. EFT is an energy-based practice used by parents, therapists, healers, and coaches to bridge communication gaps, increase trust among children, and help neutralize negative emotions. Parents who practice EFT are finding new ways to engage and be in tune with their children. This is exciting news as when as a child ourselves we did not learn healthy and open communication, it is often hard to change our core beliefs with will and determination alone. So in walks this voodoo-esque, energy therapy technique, unbeknown to mainstream society and rocks the world for clearer, more open communication between parents and children. What is this acronym you ask? EFT is a cross between self-acupuncture and self-talk therapy. It is the up and coming experimental, holistic treatment! EFT is used to neutralize negative emotions and thoughts. With its roots in chiropractic care, Chinese medicine, and energy psychology, EFT is one treatment that is easy to learn by the lay person and is effective with anyone who wants to clear and rebuild their set of emotional beliefs. Seemingly most popular today in the UK, EFT is finding its way into the homes across the globe. Like anything, EFT becomes easier and more effective with practice, but is also very forgiving and can work the first time it is used. As a parent, using EFT with your children can help your mind be more tuned into what your child is saying as the distractions seem to fade, gives you a technique to probe deeper with a set course of action to dissipate negativity, expands your child’s thought process, provides a sense of calmness, and is a facilitator to changing belief sets and traumas. All this while promoting full expression of self from your child to you!

It is in each moment of life that our children are building their own book of definitions and rules; Definitions and rules which will escort them through life. It is important as parents we begin to look for an understanding of how our children are interpreting the worlds around them because these belief systems formed in the younger years, often before the age of 6, and are the blueprint pattern to thought process and emotional beliefs throughout life. Mini or major traumas of children, when hidden away present as phobias, tantrums, and tears – behaviors which parents find difficult. In our turning culture to gentle parenting, we can choose not to buy into old beliefs which dismiss the slightest of emotions, instead choosing to recognize and discuss these emotions with our children.

See more on Authentic Parenting here

Is Energy Magic?

So, I have an old blog. This running a business, writing passion, it's been happening for years... So I'm bring back some of my old stuff, showing where I once sat, knowing the meaning still holds true. xoxo Thinking of magic brings back happy childhood memories, those of watching magicians perform their tricks and the wonder and amazement each illusion brings. Even as an adult, when learning the “secrets” of the performance, there’s something inside me that just doesn’t get it. I’d say I’m smart, mathematical, can figure out the ins and outs of magic tricks and certainly comprehend when someone explains it to me. Or can I? A few weeks ago I had the pleasure of hanging with a magician’s assistant. She filled me in on what she does – not after the warnings of “I won’t tell if it will ruin it”. And it didn’t ruin anything. I’m still in awe and it’s wonderful. We have greats like Houdini, Copperfield, Henning. They stun their audience each and every time. It leaves us wanting more. What is magic though? I imagine it’s something different to many people. To me magic is the art of transforming something in a matter of time that seems impossible.

So is energy magic? Most would say no. Yet what if I told you it’s possible to transform memories? Recent research suggests memories are elastic, and therefore changeable. And can happen in a short amount of time. It all seems to fit my definition of magic. So memories can be magic, but what about energy?

Recently I met with a client who couldn’t seem to get past an event that occurred when she was 6 years old. To this day I have no idea what the event was but using multiple energy techniques, including EFT and Matrix Reimprinting we were able to help her get through that life event, and changed the lessons she learned. Her life was changed in that moment; change she did not think would ever happen. And her life has turned for the positive. So what was that? A shift in energy, a clearing of invisible blocks, something hard to see actually occur, yet the glowing of her face, the lightening of her body, it was all apparent to those in the room. It changed my mind to the question is energy magic? For me, in many ways it is. And it’s magic I have the pleasure of viewing often, with the giddiness of a child.