Like all amazing moms, I know you’ve had a moment where you simply wish you could have a day (or two) without your child needing you. Or maybe even without your child. I’ve been there, and under normal circumstance we can assess, see what our underlying need is (usually an increase in self-care of some sort) and make a game plan, or a vacation plan. But what about when you are actually in need? It is as if mommies don’t get sick days or time for injuries. I admit, I’m one to call my own mom, my husband, or a friend for help when I’m in need because it can be too much if I don’t. What gives? Can’t our children understand we are asking for space and compassion? I know you’re working hard shadowing and teaching them empathy, yet it can feel as if they just don’t get it.
I’m living in this space right now. I had an invisible injury to my back last week. One of those that came out of the blue, nothing I’ve ever experienced before and it feels like a my spine is crunching every time I pick up one of my children. At the exact same time, my oldest child - the one who seeks the most connection - creeped into my own shadow space even more. Where I usually get a few feet of space, it is as if he became glued to me! Is he wanting to show me his love and care-taking skills? Nope. Out of this real need for my children to be a more independent as I heal, his needs rose.
When our expectations of independence rise dramatically a child can’t keep up. This feeling of lack leads to vulnerability and then appears to be a neediness in itself. So it appears mommies don’t get to have a bad day because a bad day often appears to go downhill the rest of the day. My wish for you is tools to turn a bad day into a better day.
When there isn’t support available via speed dial or you simply choose to make it work, here’s a small offering from my heart to yours. I’m attaching a tapping video for pain. I’ve used this daily to ease the intensity of pain and speed the healing process so I can get back to me and get back to our daily rhythm of life.
Feel free to tap along and use your own descriptions to release what’s not serving your highest and best. I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments below. What did this shift for you?
Love from my family to yours,